I just listened to a story of an old friend of mine, Efa, about how much she is missing her husband. Currently she is working in Perlis (somewhere very north of Malaysia) whilst her husband is still in Kelantan which is in the very east. For us, Malaysians (I don't know about other places), having a husband working in a different place and a wife in another place is very common. It's not forever, but it happens sometimes for a certain span of time, either a husband or a wife, forced to live apart from each other upon reaching a level in their profession. But in Efa's case, she's more concerned about her two kids.

I'm married to an Italian, and I don't see anytime in the future that I would be living separately from my husband because of work. My husband couldn't even last one month without me (when I was in Malaysia celebrating Ramadhan and Eid last year), so I don't think he can last longer than that if I'd really have to work elsewhere. But for a Malaysian husband, it could be different.

All I could tell Efa was of how my father worked in Taiping, Perak, and my mother was in Alor Setar, Kedah. They already had 4 kids, and my brother below me and I were living with our father, while the other two younger ones living with my mother over there. Talking about a child's development, it wasn't bad at all.

Not that I clinged to my mother so badly after she came back to live with us, I grew up to be very protective and defensive towards my younger brother, since that was the only brother I had with me that time. Whenever he couldn't stand up for any boys older than him, I was there to bounce them. This led me to believe that I could survive alone, without needing a man in future to support me. Although, it could have turned me into a negative person, I became independent instead. Because of this, I didn't end up being flirty around just to look for a guy's attention. But then, of course, I carry a leave-me-alone label stamped on my forehead until this very day.

However, my brother, learned different things from my father. Seeing how my father had to wake up very early in the morning, preparing breakfast for the three of us, going to work until late, coming home with a scowl on his face due to pressure from colleagues and his boss, ironing his own clothes and ours too, and having to listen to us complaining about school, has made him matured on his own. Not only now he knows how to iron and clean the house himself, his younger brothers can even count on him for all the simple household things that most guys don't even know. He becomes very patient towards hardships in life, and very loving towards his family. I can say that if he's married, he could be the father to rely on for the kids when the wife is not around. But then, having me protecting him all the time turned him to have very lack of self-confidence right now.

In the end, my parents managed to earn a lot of money, having houses and lands, and no debts today because of the little sacrifice they did in the past when they were young. Now, they're having honeymoon everyday even though my father isn't on pension yet. They have no problems. Their kids are happy. Everyone is happy.

So, Efa, don't worry a thing. Your future will be great.